looking into the sun

"look at me, I'm right here" I plead, my voice shaking. He looks at me skeptically. We stand there just looking at eachother in the pouring rain. I can feel his breath hot against my neck as I lean closer. Rain drips down my face as I'm begging him to let me go. His face shows his every emotion. His sad blue eyes penetrate my heart. I know he doesn't understand. This is the moment I've been dreading since I first saw it happen 4 years ago- in my mind. I told him. I begged him. He knew I had to leave. But he still stayed with me all those years. I've hurt him. You can see the pain in his eyes. Shivering cold I put my face close to his and whisper the awful words in his ear. "I.. I have to go.. now" He puts his hands on my face. He gives me one last look of heartache and confusion. He lowers his head and slowly puts his soft lips to mine. One last kiss. For a single moment I feel whole. Every part of me wants to reject it but I hold on to him with every passion of my heart as we stand there kissing in the rain. My arms are tight around him, tears streaming down my face-enclosed in one last embrace. Then, hesitantly I let him go and walk away into the cold stormy night. Away from everything I once held dear, into the unknown darkness.