7.18.2010

breaking the silence

Sixteen years. Sixteen years I've been silent. I was a silent girl, who spent her nights sitting at the top of the stairs in the dark, waiting for mommy and daddy to stop fighting. A silent girl, never complaining about her pain. A silent girl, never told the world.. never opened her mouth when she needed help. A silent girl, ashamed of what went on in her head, trying to stay sane. A silent girl, cried alone, bore an unbearable burden without a word.
And then a silent girl
fell in love.
And suddenly, she wasnt alone anymore.
He was everything. He could say everything she had ever been too afraid to say. He showed her what it felt like to be real.. to not have to pretend. And that's all she ever needed. He taught her to trust. He faught his way inside my head, trying so hard to understand. He was the person she wished she could be. The other half of me..
I see the fire in his eyes, a passion to prove to the world what he is capable of becoming. I see how hard he tries to be a good person, but I also see that he is holding back, he struggles. And for that, he is the strongest person I have ever met. People always tell him who to be, and how to act, and what to say, and what to believe.. but the one thing he is not afraid of..
is being who he's supposed to be.
And no matter how selfish and unworthy he believes to be, I know who he really is.
He is learning, He is struggle, He is loving, He is courage. He is that one person who will stand up and speak when the whole world tries to get him to be silent. He is a true hero. Not the hero that you find in fairy tales, but the ones you hardly find in real life. He is a soldier, fighting and fighting for someone to believe in, and for someone to believe in him. He exemplifies strength, inside and out. He can envelope me in his arms and make me feel safe for once in my life...

He took that silent girl and her silent world, and flipped them upside down.
He showed her that there was nothing to be scared of...
He showed her she was loved,
and most of all, he showed her
that she didnt have to be silent, anymore.

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i'm fifteen years old.
i have a gift
and one day i will use it to
change the world.

{8.15.09}


"A human being is a part of a whole. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty" -Albert Einstein

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