Divided Minds

by Pamela Spiro Wagner and Carolyn S. Spiro, M.D.

"Thoughts like a storm of tossed confetti whirl through my brain, ricocheting back and forth between the walls of my skull, evolving through a frantic train of association into revelations about the secrets of life and death, space and time. Without sensible connections, they segue on and on dizzyingly...I am frightened by my careening train of thoughts, thoughts that, when I can stop them long enough, I know- vaguely, distantly- don't make sense. This can't go on. I can't keep up the pace, the peace, my end of the bargain, my head above water. It's exhausting me, mentally more than physically, but physically as well: My bones, my muscles, even my skin and hair ache with the desire to sleep."

"Everyone else seems to know how to be normal and not feel so fake. But I get tired of pretending."

"My body feels foreign, no longer connected to me... I feel it's my responsibility to keep away from others, to reduce the potential for harming them"