the escape

She told me I wouldn't have to do it alone.
She said.. she said it would all be okay.. it was just that little voice in my head.. the one that kept telling me that everyting I knew was a lie, that hope was just an escape from reality and I have to go back to it eventually.. my heart wanted to ignore it, and just listen to her, but I couldn't get myeslf to do it.
I held the cause of my pain, that book, close to my chest. And I just sat there in the rain and cried. Where was she now? Where?... I needed her like nothing else. It was getting harder and harder to breath-every step I went closer to that aweful place. I can't do it, Calia, I can't. My jaw tightened and my nails dug deeper into the thick leather cover. I shut my eyes. Shut out the world. Shut out the past.. Wet strands of hair stuck to my face and my damp clothes tightened against my skin with each frigid drop of rain.
Absolute terror choked in my throat and I was loosing life slowly, sitting there hiding from fate, leaning against the hard concrete wall of the prison. I knew what came next. I've been playing it out over and over in my head for months. But now, I was scared. Truly scared.. Escape seemed impossible, gazing at the thirty foot barbed-wire fence only about 20 yards in front of me.
A surge of panic rushed through my veins as I heard their footsteps- closer, closer.
Each sound echoed through my head as I counted down the seconds until I had to make my move.
Five.. the sound of their footsteps.. suddenly ceased.
Four.. the sound of the rain hit the ground like pebbles against the earth
Three.. nothing..
Two.. guns.. suddenly cocked.. and a fierce voice shouted to the others- "find her.. and fire at will."
One.. "THERE-"
I leap up and sprint as fast as I can into the direction of the front gate. Everything around me blurs and the sound of gunfire and shouting presses against my skull. Life was spinning around me like a ticking bomb waiting for the end, each step- running with every ounce of passion left inside of me. The concrete floor tears the soles of my bare feet, I squinch in pain but keep running.. faster faster, my heart pounds in my chest.
They were shooting at me from all angles. I could hear the men closing in behind me. My arm, scorched with unbearable pain- thick with blood. My head fogged, numb in my fear- yet clear with purpose. I had to do this.
With a single scrap of life within me I thrust myself into the metal fence.
Then, everything went white.
I felt nothing, I heard nothing.
A split second later, I was laying there... face down in the dirt of the forest, gasping for breath. My body shook with the shock of what I had just done. How did I.. I did it. The pain was inexorable. Deep red blood drenched the fabric of my thin linen blouse. My muscle tightened as I tried to lift my head.
I opened my eyes-
And there was Calia standing by my feet, staring straight at me.